And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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