You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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