i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
