If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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