guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All the doctor said was why
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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