hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dual....:-)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
