It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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