Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
