I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
