i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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