Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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