Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
