I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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