ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
