this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
