I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
