We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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