Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
