I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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