opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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