I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
