its not stalking. its research.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't turn off my feet"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
