the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
