So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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