In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
