is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
