Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
