do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
