SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My vagina just clenched in fear
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
