A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
