Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
