My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
