Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Are my feet made of real feet?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
