I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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