So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
