I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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