I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize