a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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