evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
