Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
