Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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