You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
