there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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