So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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