some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
