I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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