the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
