I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
