We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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