i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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