I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
