Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize