The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
