I want to stick my p in your. b.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
