i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
