5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize