I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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