went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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