Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize