I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
